


The Safety Theory

by holtzghostgirl



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Drabble, F/F, Flirting, Fluff, Possible smut, Slow Burn, fluff fluff fluff, i am trash, shameless flirting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-07-28 10:36:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7636885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holtzghostgirl/pseuds/holtzghostgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Holtz was all complexities, subtle and obvious, charming and bizarre. Erin’s scientific mind demanded to know more, it was in her nature—or at least, that is how she justified the Holtzmann fascination to herself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first real attempt at a fic, I think it will end up being a bit of a slow burn fluff fest mostly made up of little drabble-esque bits. Please feel free to leave me any comments, suggestions or requests you have for this fic or other little drabbles. I’m in love with these characters.

Erin Gilbert had been making careful choices for the best part of a decade. In fact, it had been so long since she had done anything ‘reckless’ that she had started to forget what it was like to feel anything other than safe. Safety is not something to be taken for granted, but Erin was really beginning to push it.

She had started to convince herself that staying up a few more hours on occasion to finish projects, or having a glass of wine on a work night, somehow meant she wasn’t a total stickler for the rules. Erin hadn’t been on a date in two years, and her last had been with a man more interested in talking about his car than getting to know her. The truth was that she hadn’t felt excited about her work (or anything real) in years, not since she and Abby had stopped talking.

And then one day this man shows up to her lecture hall clutching their book, the ghost book, and it scares her almost as much as the first time she saw a ghost at the foot of her childhood bed. It jolts her into confronting facts about her life she had been hiding from, behind a cosy job and the promise of tenure. She marches across town to yell at Abby for still selling the damn thing. In the process of this, Erin ends up wrapped up in all the stuff she once swore blind she’d never go near again. Suddenly, she is seeing a real life ghost, and covered in ectoplasm with her high school best friend and a woman with a wildness to her like nothing Erin has ever seen before. 

She had this totally ‘other’ sense to her: from the puff of curly blonde hair on her head to her yellow lab glasses and large clomping boots. She winked at Erin when they met, like she was Danny and Erin was Sandy, which was quite an embarrassing comparison on Erin’s part—but also pretty true. It was almost as if this woman knew things about Erin, and her safe little life, before they had even spoken.

Holtzmann.

For Now, Erin had reached a point where her life had started to shift from the safe to the not-so-safe. She had lost her chance at tenure, and left her cosy job and simple life behind; but in exchange, Erin was now working in a scientifically ground-breaking team. The Ghostbusters had saved New York city (and probably the world) in one evening’s work, and proved that ghosts exist against all odds. No longer was she the sad little ghost girl of her childhood, the one everyone (excluding Abby) laughed at and refused to believe all through high school. Hell no, she was Erin Gilbert, badass ghost physicist and, most importantly, she and Abby had been proven right. That felt good, incredible in fact, like world-changing-life-affirmingly great.

She Abby, Patty, Holtzmann and Kevin were now this dysfunctional but happy little unit, and despite Kevin’s inability to do basic tasks like answer the phone, they worked well together. At the firehouse, their new HQ, they had the space to fulfil their potential. A few years back Erin would never have believed that her life would turn out in such a way, and despite herself and the not-so-safe nature of the job she started to feel safer again. Not in the mundane way she once had, but in a way that meant she was content day to day, happy.

There was just one hitch. One thing (other than particularly scary jobs) that still raised her heart rate so that she could feel the blood pulsing in her ears. A consuming ‘unknown’ that threw Erin off kilter yet again into the less-safe realm of possibility. Erin’s fascination with the engineer shouldn’t have been so surprising to her, but it was. She was potentially the most impressive person Erin had ever met. Holtzmann took the proton blasters and gadgets she and Abby had dreamed of and made them real—and then she made so much more. She was the person who had created the tools the Ghostbusters depended upon and to top it all, she was thoroughly unique in all aspects. She was a baffling combination of extremes. Even Holtz’s clothing was beyond quirky, but still somehow good on her.

Admittedly, Erin had noticed the way her rolled up sleeves revealed her subtly defined biceps on more than one occasion.

Almost every day Holtzmann could be found dancing ferociously around her work station like a woman possessed. She often climbed on tables and determinedly thrust her hips to cheesy 80s tunes and, despite herself, Erin found her eyes drawn to watch. Then there were the other things: the winking, the unashamed flirting, that Erin suspected was only aimed at her because she reacted. She couldn’t help reacting, her cheeks flushing pink when referred to by names such as ‘hot stuff’. No one had said stuff like that to Dr Gilbert ever, particularly not whilst simultaneously putting out flames. The other woman was chaotic to say the least, and Erin knew she shouldn’t have enjoyed watching her dancing with blowtorches (at least because it was dangerous), but she did.  
And beneath all this, confidently odd exterior, Holtzmann was a woman who nervously expressed her gratitude for the acceptance and joy they had all found together. As if she’d never been so comfortable anywhere else, and Erin knew that feeling too well.

Holtz was all complexities, subtle and obvious, charming and bizarre. Erin’s scientific mind demanded to know more, it was in her nature—or at least, that is how she justified the Holtzmann fascination to herself. The truth was that she was at the edge of a whirlwind, being slowly reeled in and refusing to protest. The (imagined?) intensity of Holtzmann’s eyes on her making her giddy with something she was failing to recognise—a crush.

Erin Gilbert had a crush that was beyond the way that she felt about Kevin and his god-like exterior. This was a crush she didn’t know she had, a chemical reaction that she could not begin to define. An attraction to touch flames despite the distinct likelihood of getting one’s fingers burnt. There was nothing ‘safe’ about Jillian Holtzmann, and Erin kinda liked it.

————————

That morning Erin arrived at the fire station earlier than everyone else. She’d been disturbed in the early AM by some cats fighting outside her apartment building, and her sleep had been almost non-existent as a result. Upon arrival, she immediately went to put a large pot of coffee on to brew, and then sat at her desk with a bunch of casefiles that she wanted to study.

When Abby and Holtzmann arrived about half an hour or so later, they were greeted by the smell of coffee and a sleeping Erin slumped face down on her desk. The women exchanged a glance and Abby shrugged, making a beeline for the kitchen to pour herself a coffee. This wasn’t unusual, the Ghostbusters were pretty dependent on their caffeine, and there would be trouble if everyone didn’t get their fix at the start of the day.

Holtzmann, however, put her caffeine needs aside for a moment. Transfixed by her sleeping colleague, she walked quietly across to Erin’s desk and examined her curiously as if she were one of her projects. Erin’s usually perfect hair was dishevelled and she repressed the urge to stretch out a hand and touch. It seemed rude to wake her, but Holtz knew that the lab was unlikely to stay quiet enough for sleep when everyone (particularly Patty) arrived. Still, despite her usual lack of qualms about invading personal space, Holtzmann found herself very gingerly reaching to tap Erin’s shoulder. Erin groaned softly and shifted a little. Holtz sighed.

‘Hey sleeping beauty,’ she said cajolingly, in her typical drawling accent, ‘wake up time.’ Erin made a small humming sound, not unlike that of a contented lover, and failed to wake again. Holtzmann’s eyebrows shot up a little, but she rested on the assumption that Erin was probably dreaming of Kevin’s chiselled abs. She marched across the lab to turn on her stereo. ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go’ blared through the station and the engineer began clicking her fingers and dancing in her outrageously bold way. There was not even a hint of self-consciousness in the way that she moved. Erin lifted her head in a startled manner, she blinked twice, disorientated and bleary eyed.

‘Holtzmann?’

The other woman was now too wrapped up in her routine to respond, instead she gave Erin a brash wink and hopped onto a swivel chair which glid across the station floor with surprising grace. That would give Erin something else to dream about, she thought smugly (and rather ridiculously, but that was exactly Holtzmann’s style).

‘Why in fresh hell you dancin’ before 9am for Holtzmann?’ Came Patty’s booming protest as she walked through the doors, ‘I thought we said no music before 10am!’ Patty was not a morning person, they had all learned that fact quite quickly.  
Holtzmann grinned, ‘Just making sure we’re all wide awake!’ Her eyes flashed towards Erin before she strutted back to the stereo and shut it off.  
‘I’ve said it a thousand times before,’ muttered Patty, ‘but you a crazy woman.’ Erin was still startled and Abby re-emerged then, a tray of mugs in hand, she had judged by the sound of a commotion down the hall that they were needed more than usual. Erin accepted her own very gratefully, and hoped nobody else noticed her flaming hot cheeks (maybe her dreams hadn’t been about Kevin after all).

They all noticed. Holtz took her mug upstairs, and as she propped her feet up at the counter and started fiddling with her latest device, she couldn’t wipe the smirk from her face. She wasn’t sure what kind of game she was playing now, but she hoped she might get to wake Erin up again some time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Hey,’ she said with the intent of distraction, ‘Erin we got the best seats in this joint, look at the city all lit up. Kinda cool huh? Think of all the ghosts out there.’ Erin lifted her head slowly, sheepishly. She hiccupped again, leaning in, and her eyes widened as she stared, not at the city lights but at Holtzmann, her clumsy fingers found the other woman’s hand and curled around it. Her grip was surprisingly tight, needy.

Erin didn’t drink too often, and there was good reason for that. Sure, she might indulge in the odd glass of wine now and again, but real heavy drinking-to-be-drunk was pretty much always off the cards. The reasoning behind this refusal was simple: she was the most incredible lightweight. Erin put this down to the fact that she hadn’t really had the chance to consume much alcohol in her teens and early twenties. During high school she and Abbie had never been invited to parties, and in college Erin was generally too busy hitting the books to participate in that kind of stuff (or at least that was what she told herself).

On the rare occasions that Erin Gilbert consumed more than her usual glass of wine or two, by which point her words would already be slightly slurred, something terrible and humiliating would also occur without fail. On one occasion Erin threw up all over the shoes of, not one, but two hot guys over the course of the same party. That was a pretty tame night compared to others she had suffered. The truth was, Erin could not stand the thought of being so vulnerable in her drunken state, and that combination of anxiety and a terrible alcohol tolerance never went down well. However, after fulfilling her teenage dream to prove the existence of ghosts, and saving the world, Erin was unusually confident. Hell, she was Dr Gilbert, ghostbuster and general badass –she could do whatever she wanted.

It had all started with an innocent enough suggestion from Patty. They were all sitting around a desk, eating Chinese takeout for lunch.  
‘Holtzy over here already uses the station as her own personal dancefloor. I think we should take some of that action out to the world.’  
‘What a treat for the world.’ Said Holtzmann, as she waggled her eyebrows and messily slurped another mouthful of noodles.

‘What do you ladies think?’ Asked Patty.  
Abby and Erin exchanged the briefest of glances.

‘Well I’m game,’ Erin said, with an enthusiasm that had just a slightly nervous edge, she wasn’t safe-girl Erin anymore, ‘sounds like fun.’ Abby, on the other hand, was less than confident in Erin’s ability to take her drink (after several years of holding back her hair). But maybe, with the way things had been going lately, tonight would finally be the anomaly in Erin’s pattern of sucky nights out. Erin seemed to think so, and Abby made a silent note to keep track of her old friend’s consumption. She just needed to subtly warn the other women before they went out.  
‘Hey Holtzmann knows I’m not afraid to party.’ Abby said cooly, noticing the mounting pressure for her own response, she smiled.  
‘Oh yes I do my friend,’ Holtzmann grinned, ‘remember--‘

‘Tequila night,’ Abby butt in, and both women burst into a conspiratorial laughter, Abby was slightly breathless before she spoke again, ‘do you think the cops still talk about us?’ Patty shared a look with Erin, and instead of asking for the story behind that remark they just chuckled and let it go. Nothing those two had done could surprise them anymore. It had become the new normal to expect the bizarre.

On that note, Erin’s eyes settled on Holtzmann for a moment in thought, as usual she was lounged back in her seat with her feet propped up on the desk. Erin wondered if, in turn, Holtz expected ‘normal’ from her, she certainly felt pretty boring by comparison. The door swung open at that moment and Kevin re-emerged, from wherever he had gone (hide and seek tournament?) with a brown sandwich bag. ‘Hey Kevin, wanna hit the town with us tonight?’ Erin called behind her, reverie broken, attempting to sound cooler than she inevitably did.  
‘Sure,’ Kevin said as he as he made his way to his desk, ‘sounds fun.’ Abby rolled her eyes, and Holtzmann proceeded to quietly observe the way Erin bit her lip and grinned at his agreement. Holtz loved Kevin like she would love a puppy, he was harmless, funny and someone she considered a good friend despite not having known him too long at all. But it didn’t mean she thought he’d make a suitable date for Erin Gilbert, one of the smartest and most incredible (yikes) women she knew. She’d never understand the attraction at all, but Holtz supposed it was none of her business (so why had her mood suddenly dipped?).

She got up to throw her empty takeout carton in the trash then, intent on finishing up some adjustments to a cyclotronic positron she’d been working on earlier and leaving any weird thoughts behind her. Erin on the other hand was actually just excited to get out with the whole group, she really cared for all of them, and despite how much she might have admired Kevin’s body she wasn’t really attracted to him in a serious sense now. He was a safe bet, that was all, safely out of her league and safely someone she would never really pursue beyond very embarassing flirtation.

‘Prepare yourselves for a night to remember ladies… and gent.’ Holtzmann called over her shoulder cooly, compelled by a strong desire to impress and not being sure as to why exactly, nor did Erin know why that remark made her heart thud a little too hard.

\--------------------------------------------------

It would be a night they remembered, that was for sure. Abby had forgotten to warn the others about Erin’s inability to drink, too distracted by Kevin and Patty’s drinking games and relaxed by the atmosphere of being surrounded by close friends. She’d kept any eye on her the first couple hours though and so far so good. Nothing could go too badly wrong, right?

It turned out that Kevin was an expert in at least one field after all, and that was drinking. He and Abby were in some kind of contest over who could shot tequila (no salt or lime) without any kind of face pulling after. Despite Kevin’s valiant effort, Abby still won every time. Erin was doing much better than her college-self would have. She was on her third glass of wine and was just significantly gigglier than usual. She might also have been leaning closer into Holtzmann than was strictly necessary, but that wasn’t an issue anyone felt like raising. Besides, Holtzmann smelled weirdly good, a mix between coffee, motor oil and some kind of retro perfume probably bought at a yard sale. There were still several full shot glasses left on the table, but Abby had drunk enough of them that she could no longer sit still.  
‘I need to dance!’ she had boldly exclaimed, as if it were a real crisis, pulling on Kevin’s arm and dragging him up (with surprising strength) to join a weird sort of conga line that somebody else had formed. When they left, Patty eyed the table and her remaining, slightly less tequila-fuelled, friends.

‘Y’all up for tequila night part 2?’ She grinned, reaching for a shot. Holtzmann laughed wickedly and took one for herself. She picked up another and held it up, her lips curving into a smile that was hard to deny, Erin immediately reached out. With too much confidence for a bad drinker, she quickly knocked it back, wincing a little as it burned her throat. Holtzmann and Patty whooped and took their own, and before they had even finished Erin had taken the last one too. She swayed in her seat right after, feeling her head cloud up, regretful of her choice already. Perhaps it was the flicker of amusement in Holtz’s eyes after she had done her first, it had given her an even greater buzz than the liquor. Then the liquor hit back double-hard.

‘Woah woah, slow down hot stuff.’ Holtzmann put an arm around Erin’s shoulders, sobering up enough herself to notice that her friend shouldn’t have any more for a while. Their faces were unusually close in that moment. Erin smelled warm, like clean laundry with a hint of ectoplasm, it was not unpleasant, and then she reached out a hand and touched one of the engineer’s dimples. Holtzmann froze up despite herself, she was usually the one invading someone else’s personal space, not the other way around. She did not know how to compute this kind of intimacy, and she forgot to care if Patty was watching.

‘Hey, did I ever tell you,’ Erin paused to hiccup gracefully, ‘that I’m a God damn ghost scientist!’ Holtzmann smiled uneasily, realising a little bitterly that Erin was even worse than she realised and that she was probably just a handsy drunk. Then she noticed that Patty had already gone to join Abby and Kevin, and so she was on her own with this one.  
‘I’m sure the topic has come up before.’ Holtz replied smoothly, and she wondered what action she should best take now, Erin clearly needed some time out. However, she hadn’t been responsible for another human like this in a long time, and to top it all this was Erin. This was the woman who normally reminded Holtz that she needed to eat, sleep and drink. The one who put out all her fires. Her eyes scanned the club until they fell on the sign for the smoking area.

‘How about you and I step outside Gilbert?’ Holtz suggested, unable to restrain the playfully flirtatious lilt to her voice, however ironic it was, as she was already carefully standing and aiding Erin off her seat, ‘I promise I won’t pull any sweet moves on you. Consciously.’  
‘Why wouldn’t you?’ Erin slurred, and Holtzmann laughed softly as she secured an arm around her waist and they ambled slowly around the edge of the dance floor toward the sign. This is what you get for crushing on a colleague, Holtz thought incredulously.

It turned out that the smoking area was on the roof, and that meant climbing steps. Erin was in no fit state and so Holtzmann had half-lifted the taller woman with her, they struggled slowly up each step, until they finally reached the top. A small mercy was found in the fact that there seemed to be nobody else around. The night was very young, no one in their right mind had reached the stage where they needed to escape the dancefloor yet. Holtzmann laughed again then, oddly endeared, as they sat on a bench and Erin put her head in her hands woozily, she stroked her back gently.  
‘Hey,’ she said with the intent of distraction, ‘Erin we got the best seats in this joint, look at the city all lit up. Kinda cool huh? Think of all the ghosts out there.’ Erin lifted her head slowly, sheepishly. She hiccupped again, leaning in, and her eyes widened as she stared, not at the city lights but at Holtzmann, her clumsy fingers found the other woman’s hand and curled around it. Her grip was surprisingly tight, needy.

‘Do you think I’m boring, Holtz?’ Erin asked earnestly, sad in the way that drunk people get for no real reason other than the fact that they’re drunk and maybe a little insecure, ‘I just—I wanted to show you I’m not lame. I’m not safe and boring all the time, I-just….’ Jillian Holtzmann couldn’t help it, she couldn’t resist the urge to comfort Erin, just like she couldn’t resist creating things for her or flirting with her when they spoke. Her alcohol infused blood filled in any space for hesitation and foolishly she leaned down and kissed the top of the other woman’s head. Closing her eyes a moment, feeling the softness of Erin’s brown hair on her cheek. She thought things she knew she shouldn’t, and allowed herself to confront them, knowing this was just one step closer to hurting than she had been before.

‘Erin’ she muttered, more soberly than she felt, ‘if I thought you were boring my life would be a hell of a lot simpler.’ The other woman leaned back then, opened her mouth as if to say something profound, but she shut it again, thoughtful. Holtzmann felt herself flushing furiously, a peculiar reversal in their roles, social awkwardness beneath all that bravado kicking in. She started to make designs in her head, as her own distraction, things she could make Erin, she just wanted to impress Erin. Why did she always go for women she stood no chance with? Lost in her thoughts, Holtz failed to notice the sudden paleness that overcame Erin’s face, and then the woman of the moment herself lurched forward violently to throw up. Any illusions that had been grown that night were thoroughly shattered.

The next day Erin would not remember anything much of the night before beyond the fact that she was mortified and owed Holtzmann a new pair of shoes. Holtzmann returned to work larger than life, she was already there when the others arrived, dancing merrily along to 'Everybody Wants to Rule the World' by Tears for Fears, as if the whole thing had never happened. Abby and Patty didn’t question it, but both sensed a subtle shift in the air. It seemed that Erin wasn’t the only one who retreated into what she knew to be safe.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When she shut her eyes and thought back to that night, Erin remembered a little more than she let on. She distinctly remembered the smell of Holtzmann close beside her, motor oil, coffee and yard sale perfume, the feeling of their legs brushing as they sat on bar stools next to each other. City lights, a rooftop, meeting eyes over her shot glass. Quite honestly, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about those small things since.

The phone was ringing as Erin arrived at the firehouse the next Tuesday morning and, as usual, Kevin was clearly late to work. All was quiet, aside from that and the distant rhythmic thump of some 80s anthem coming from the ceiling, letting her know that Holtzmann was there (she probably hadn’t gone home again). 

‘Hi, you’ve reached Ghostbusters, this is Doctor Erin Gilbert speaking.' The voice at the other end of the line was that of an older, tired sounding, man with an English accent, he paused momentarily after his own greeting as if uncertain of whether he could really believe what he was about to say. This was common, given the stigma still attached to belief in ghosts and so Erin gave him a moment before she added ‘can I help you?’

‘Yes… yes,’ stammered the man, apparently snapping back to reality again, ‘I believe you can.’ He took a breath before he continued to speak.

‘My name is Richard Talbot, I’m the owner of Talbot Manor and I believe we are experiencing some kind of… incredibly volatile haunting. I’ve had to shut down the Bed and Breakfast service we offer because I am afraid for my guest’s safety and-- Well, I have it on good recommendation that you are the people to call. I sincerely hope you can help.’  
‘Mr. Talbot,’ Erin assured, preparing herself to go through the regular procedure, ‘this is exactly the kind of thing we deal with, all the time, I’m sure we can help you. Now, if you’re out of state we might have to ask for a small fee to cover costs, but otherwise we’re state funded and so the service is free—‘  
‘Oh no, I’m not out of state.’  
‘Great, can I get your address please?’  
‘Doctor Gilbert, I’m in England.’ 

Erin failed to speak in her surprise. She had never really thought about the fact that they were the only service of their kind in the world. New York alone had so much supernatural activity to deal with. She didn’t know what to say, there was no way they could afford to leave the country with all their equipment, and who would be there to deal with the other cases? As if hearing her thoughts, Richard Talbot spoke again.  
‘Of course, I am more than happy to provide your flights and accommodation… and indeed pay you some more for the inconvenience. My business is on the line here, and I desperately need to get it up and running again soon… or I don’t know what will happen. I’m willing to do whatever it takes.’ Erin chewed at her lip for a moment quietly contemplating her next move, fingers tapping gently at the desk.

‘Mr.Talbot, I need to talk with my colleagues about this... We’ll try our best to help you, even if we can’t get there. May I please call you back?’  
God only knew how they’d do it though. 

...

Erin eventually decided to call everyone into an impromptu meeting to discuss the call. They had all pulled up seats around her desk, and after some snickering between the others pretending to be business people at a board meeting, the real discussion began.

‘England!’ Exclaimed Patty, ‘Baby you know this means big news for us, imagine if this goes right—we could be helping set up another unit over there. We’d be the founding mothers of Ghostbusting services, and you know what I want someone to build a statue of us one day and be like these are the original badass ghostbustin’ bitches.’  
‘No statues are creepy; I don’t think we should have statues. I’m a plaque girl myself,’ Holtzmann muttered, her chin resting in her hands.  
‘Yeah I’m votin’ plaques too. Less room for possession.’ Abby nodded in agreement with her. Patty frowned, and Erin looked at her friends as if they had gone mad. The whole offer had sort of blown her mind and she couldn’t believe how calm they were.  
‘Guys, I’m not sure we can even do this—the logistics, the- the fact that nobody would be here to look after this place. We can’t just abandon it. New York is still flooded with ghosts; it wouldn’t be right.’ As always, Erin was the sensible one, and as good as the opportunity in England sounded she wasn’t sure they could justify the trip.

‘So two of us go, and two of us stay,’ reasoned Abby, ‘come on Erin, you’ve always wanted to go to England, and this could be a big deal for us.’ She had. All through high school Erin had been into English pop music, movies and fiction, even now it was a somewhat guilty pleasure. At the time, it had also been a fantasy of hers, she imagined going to England and never mentioning ghosts again, starting fresh and re-inventing herself (a thought that was quite ironic now given her line of work).

Maybe part of Erin was also a little overwhelmed that the opportunity to go had finally come about, and not only could she potentially go to England—she could go there as someone unashamed of who she was. Gradually, her ‘safety theory’ for survival was breaking down, bit by bit. It was all falling into place and this was another part of her past about to be confronted. 

‘Yeah Erin,’ Holtzmann grinned, folding her arms up back behind her head, typically nonchalant, ‘they totally appreciate all the tiny bowtie stuff over there too. You’d fit right in.’ Erin was too busy trying to work out a solution to throw in her usual ‘they come with the shirts’ response.

‘Well, I guess I would stay here,’ threw in Patty modestly, ‘I’m the New York expert after all… I guess I wouldn’t be as useful over there, gotta do some more reading up on it first.’  
‘Yeah, I’ll stay too,’ Abby added, ‘you’ll need Holtzmann to help with equipment. That way you won’t need to worry about stuff breaking.’ Holtzmann’s eyes flickered with surprise, she hadn’t fancied her chances of going much given that her best work was done at the lab. Abby’s reasoning was pretty sound though, and going to England would be awesome. 

She pretended not to notice the slightly encouraging glance Abby gave her as she spoke, she knew that she and Patty had been speculating about some things recently.  
Erin looked up at her friends, she knew they’d both really like to go and the fact that they were so willing to get her to England made her feel incredibly humbled. Abby and Patty deserved to go more than she did, especially after the way she had treated Abby before all this had started. She smiled and shook her head, opening her mouth to protest. She didn’t deserve them at all.

‘Look Erin,’ Abby had her matter-of-fact voice on, the one she used when she was absolutely going to fight you on something, ‘you were the one who answered the phone, and you have always wanted to go to England. If things go right, I’m sure Patty and I will go over there sometime anyway.’ Abby and Patty both looked at her then. For a moment, the pair of them were the picture of supportive parents. Erin would’ve laughed if she wasn’t already so touched.

‘Erin, Holtzy, you gotta do this, I will not forgive you if you pass on this one,’ Patty said with conviction, ‘and y’all better bring me back an I heart London sweater alright?’

Erin looked at Holtzmann, who was now unable to hide her own grin. She put the tingling feeling it gave her down to nothing more than excitement, as her own grin spread out wide across her features.  
‘Oh my God,’ she said, in sudden realisation, ‘we’re going to England!’  
‘Woo yeah we are baby!’ Holtzmann put up her hand for a high five, and soon enough they were all high fiving and laughing. The Ghostbusters were about to cross continents; it was an incredibly significant moment for them. 

...

Mr.Talbot had sounded incredibly relieved when Erin spoke with him on the phone. He was more than satisfied with the prospect of two Ghostbusters coming out, and had booked their flights on the spot. 

Only two days after the initial call, a sleepy Erin and Holtzmann found themselves at JFK airport at 5am, loaded up to the nines with bags and supplies. They’d had to quickly acquire special permits just to allow some of their devices through security (luckily the mayor’s office owed them a favour or two). 

Erin was wearing an oversized grey MIT sweater and her comfiest jeans. Unsurprisingly, Holtzmann was dressed pretty much the same as any other day, in her oil splattered denim overalls and leather jacket. Lab glasses and all. Erin guessed she’d probably been up all night again, but decided against nagging her about it, she could sleep on the plane.  
‘Oh come on, never sacrifice style for comfort,’ Holtz teased, all over-the-top dramatic, after Erin had attempted to justify her cosy get-up, ‘although I’m kinda into the mom jeans, I have to say.’ She was only half-kidding, but also maybe using it as an excuse to check Erin out, and that was totally a counter-productive thought in light of recent events. Holtzmann was still a little satisfied by the way Erin flushed though.

On the flight, they both initially tried to sleep. Holtz seemed to drift off with very little trouble, Erin on the other hand could not settle. Every time she started to drift her head would dip forwards and she’d be jolted suddenly back awake. Eventually, she decided she was just going to have to rest it on Holtzmann’s shoulder, it was only fair after all, as she’d generously given up the window seat. 

A couple hours later and Holtz was starting to stir, she noted the weight on her side and glanced down, without moving, to see Erin resting on her sound asleep. She shut her eyes again gently, still pretty comfy she supposed-- maybe she could sleep another hour or so. 

Erin woke up about thirty minutes later and promptly sat back up, self-consciously smoothing her ruffled hair. She was glad Holtzmann was still asleep, it didn’t need to get any weirder between them now.

The reality of the situation was beginning to set in. She and Holtzmann were actually going to England, more specifically a small town in Surrey, not far from London. Erin had always imagined what it might be like to walk along the city’s streets and take in the sights. There were so many seriously old buildings in England, and London alone was one of the most historic cities in the world –-and that could only mean that there were plenty of ghosts. 

She looked at Holtz, fast asleep, Erin had never seen her look so peaceful before. She was usually always ticking away, like a bedside clock, ready to explode into an alarm at any moment. Erin was still insisting to herself that she didn’t know what her feelings for the other woman were, or why she was so drawn to her. However, she did know that she cared for Holtzmann a lot, and that something had changed between them in the last week. 

Ever since the shoe incident, Holtz seemed to have her guard up with Erin. It wasn’t always too obvious, but Erin noted how she seemed to stop herself from saying certain things. Before the comment on her jeans in the airport earlier, Holtzmann had hardly flirted with her at all, it had almost been a relief to hear her doing it again. The fact that Erin yearned for things to be as they were confused her even more.

When she shut her eyes and thought back to that night, Erin remembered a little more than she let on. She distinctly remembered the smell of Holtzmann close beside her, motor oil, coffee and yard sale perfume, the feeling of their legs brushing as they sat on bar stools next to each other. City lights, a rooftop, meeting eyes over her shot glass. Quite honestly, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about those small things since, but the rest was a blur. She wondered what she had done, aside from the obvious (Holtz wasn’t the squeamish type) to cause such a tension –or whether she had done anything at all. The thought made her head ache, and so Erin put on a movie, and decided to let sleeping dogs lie. They would be fine now, she insisted to herself, the trip would be the perfect distraction for them.

...

Talbot Manor was so beautiful that when they first stepped out of their cab, at the end of a long and luxurious lawn, Erin had forgotten to breathe for a solid minute and a half. Holtzmann helpfully waved a hand in front of her face.  
‘Earth to Erin Gilbert, Erin Gilbert do you read us?’ She said like a character in a phoney space movie, ‘Dear God, I think we’ve lost her.’ Erin, slightly giddy with excitement, simply beamed at the blonde engineer, who in turn was briefly silenced for entirely different reasons.  
‘Loud and clear, Holtzmann. I’m just pretty impressed right now. Look at this place.’

Erin was having a moment, there was no mistaking it. Her eyes almost tearing up as she continued to gaze at the large slightly gothic Georgian building. Holtzmann was fascinated by her, and she realised what finally getting to a place like this, in England, might have meant for high school Erin. These were the moments when she felt herself unmistakeably attracted to the physicist. Her passion for her work and interests was palpable, and it endeared Holtzmann to Erin in a way she never had been towards anyone before. She gently reached out and squeezed Erin’s hand, not in any way attempting to be romantic, as such—but simply because she wanted her to know that she was aware it was a big deal for her. God, her feelings were a mess but she almost didn’t mind, for a moment.

Erin squeezed back. 

‘I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.’ Holtz muttered, breaking the tension a little. Erin giggled, they were just standing there still, in front of the giant manor house. It was getting a bit ridiculous actually.  
‘So—I uh… I guess we should ring the bell.’  
Holtzmann chuckled and swung her arms towards the large wooden door.  
‘Ladies first.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so the next couple of chapters are going to be set in England (or that is the plan at least). I hope you like it, as always thank you for all the kudos and lovely comments. I always love to read feeback, constructive stuff is great too so please let me know your thoughts/suggestions in the comments or on my tumblr (same user as my name here).


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> September in New York was warm and mild, generally speaking. You could still go out without a jacket and be fine most days. To assume London would be at all similar was naïve. The manor had several gardens, all beautifully kept and neat. They were like something out of Alice in Wonderland, filled with rows and rows of decorative hedges, rose bushes and colourful pansies. It wasn’t too long before Erin was bright eyed and cheerful again, drinking in her surroundings, and even Holtz had to admit she liked being there. It was beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter yet, and just as a brief warning there is mention of the ghost's backstory and fire/death so if you don't like to read that stuff I'd skip nearer to the end. A lot happens here, and I found it so difficult to know where to end the chapter. Please be assured that things are still going to be pretty complicated (sorry not sorry). I hope you enjoy and leave feedback/suggestions if you wish to :) I love to see it. Thanks for reading <3

‘And this is the dining room,’ Mr. Talbot said, continuing on with the so-called ‘short’ tour that he had offered Erin and Holtzmann upon arrival. The guy clearly didn’t know what the word ‘short’ meant, Holtzmann thought, as he started droning on about the antique furniture yet again. She supposed she should probably muster up some professional interest, but it was increasingly difficult to concentrate, especially after a day of travelling.

Erin, on the other hand, was lapping up every detail. It didn’t matter if it was boring, she had clearly fallen in love with the place and wanted to know as much as she could. The fact that she was asking actual voluntary questions about things like the origins of Mr. Talbot’s oak table only confirmed the theory. Holtzmann allowed them to lead, entertained by the way Erin was chattering on, like an overly excited puppy, and not wanting to interrupt. She was momentarily distracted by a grandfather clock and tried to get a closer look at the mechanism inside it. Then she realised that Erin’s chattering had come to a swift halt, and her focus shifted back again.

‘Ah, you’ve noticed the painting,’ said Mr. Talbot hesitantly, ‘that is my Great-Great-Aunt Mercall.’ Holtzmann’s eyes swung across to where he and Erin had stopped, before a large old portrait of an elderly woman with silvery white hair and beady little eyes. She was sitting in a chair wearing a long blue gown, arms folded forebodingly, her expression was almost entirely void of all emotion. She looked mean, and Holtz made a mental note to add ‘painted portrait’ to her list of things she never wanted. 

The room had grown much quieter, without the sound of Erin’s excited wittering there was only a tense quietness. Mr. Talbot cleared his throat.  
‘She is the one causing all the trouble… actually,’ he mumbled sheepishly, ‘I should take the damn portrait down, it’s a family heirloom but I’ve never been fond of it myself. I suppose I was worried it might make her angry,’ he paused and then corrected himself, ‘angrier.’

Holtzmann was standing beside Erin now, but she seemed so transfixed by the portrait that she hardly noticed her presence.  
‘What was she like?’ Erin asked, breaking the silence, her voice soft and careful, she was doing the weird tensing thing she always did with her hand when she was nervous. Mr. Talbot briefly fiddled with his jacket buttons.

‘Mercall, used to be a schoolteacher, before she became a mother. She was kind and well-liked, and then… a few years after they moved here, she lost both her husband and son. A fire broke out on the eastern wing, whilst she was away visiting her sister. It was an incredibly tragic event.’ He sighed woefully and only continued after a brief pause. ‘As a result of that night, she moved all her possessions to the west side of the house, and became something of a recluse. I’m afraid that her years of solitude and grief changed her, according to the stories she was certainly not a kind woman anymore. The eastern wing was only restored after she passed on.’

The hairs at the back of Erin’s neck prickled, and she felt a shiver run along her spine. She swiftly cast those feelings aside, pulling herself together, and turned the subject of conversation back towards the house. Mr. Talbot seemed only too happy to oblige her as they walked onwards. 

Holtzmann thought that was odd, given that Mercall’s ghost was the whole reason they were there, but she didn’t push it. She lingered a moment longer, still looking at the painting. Erin was now noticeably on edge, but it was unlike her to avoid the facts. Holtz wondered if the portrait of Mercall had reminded her of another mean old woman.  
…  
Mr. Talbot had given them rooms beside each other on the newer eastern wing, because Mercall’s ghost had never been spotted there.  
‘How kind.’ Holtzmann had uttered dryly when he told them that. Mr. Talbot had not noted, or ignored, her sarcasm and insisted it was the least he could do. As the hotel was shut he had given them both large king rooms, with their own bathrooms. They each had a four poster bed and a fireplace. It was fancier than any place Holtzmann had ever slept, she’d give him that.

He also suggested that they conduct their research in the room that had formally belonged to Mercall on the west wing, as this was the area where the supernatural activity was worst. Again, Holtzmann thought it was odd how brief he was when speaking about the ghost. The guy was obviously scared, but she’d have expected him to give them more to work with, considering how badly he’d wanted to get them in. Still, they wouldn’t be starting any formal work until the next day, in order to allow themselves a chance to get over jetlag and settle in. Perhaps, they would get more from him the next day.

After Mr. Talbot swiftly made his excuses to scuttle off and prepare them some food, Holtz seized the chance to check up on Erin. She left her bags in her room (she wasn’t likely to unpack them anyway) and went next door. Erin was, predictably, tidying away her things and Holtzmann leaned in the doorway before she knocked gently on the frame. Erin visibly started, and then turned to face her.  
‘Hey!’ She said with a plastered on smile, in what was obviously an attempt at a super-cheery-Erin act, and even she knew it was not a convincing one. Holtzmann observed her for a second and decided how best to put her thoughts into words (she wasn’t always the greatest at being subtle).

‘Earlier on, when we got here, you were so happy,’ she said carefully, trying not to get it wrong, ‘but something about that painting freaked you out, and now you’re a little… er, less happy.’ Erin was clearly about to protest and so Holtzmann continued before she could, ‘I just want you to know that I’m here for you, and we can talk about it --if you want… or not. We can not talk about it too, as long as you’re ok.’

Erin did not want to talk about it, yet. She had thought she was over that bit of her past, but clearly there was something, a fear, left behind that was yet to be confronted. She couldn’t bring herself to dwell on it too much now. Holtzmann’s offer was reassuring though, she hadn’t expected it at all, used to simply dealing with problems when they came her way. It was nice to have someone notice that she might need help.

‘Thanks Holtz,’ Erin mumbled, with a small sincere smile, ‘same goes for you, if you ever need it...’ As predicted, her cheeks had gone a soft pink. She wished she knew how Holtzmann always had that effect on her.  
‘I was, um, thinking about exploring the gardens, after dinner,’ she added more confidently, ‘would you like to come with me?’  
‘I thought you’d never ask.’ Holtzmann drawled, complete with teasing wink, she was back in her element now. Erin’s cheeks betrayed her even more and, ok, maybe she knew why she was blushing that time.  
…  
September in New York was warm and mild, generally speaking. You could still go out without a jacket and be fine most days. To assume London would be at all similar was naïve. The manor had several gardens, all beautifully kept and neat. They were like something out of Alice in Wonderland, filled with rows and rows of decorative hedges, rose bushes and colourful pansies. It wasn’t too long before Erin was bright eyed and cheerful again, drinking in her surroundings, and even Holtz had to admit she liked being there. It was beautiful.

They sat on a bench, having wandered around for a while. The manor had so much more land beyond the gardens too, Mr. Talbot had mentioned it earlier. Erin wondered why he had never thought to sell at least some of it. The two of them had just been chatting about Abby, Patty and Kevin, they wanted to update them on the situation so far. However this was difficult as the internet had been switched off until the hotel was up and running again. Holtz was trying to get a signal on her phone but there didn’t seem to be any, she was lounging back on the bench fiddling with it, and Erin lazily watched the way her features became clouded by concentration. Maybe they could ask Mr. Talbot to use his phone later.

Speaking of clouds, she had not noticed the large grey ones that had rolled above them. English weather could be a merciless beast, and in that moment they were its prey. Round fat droplets of water began falling from the sky, and then they were pelting down hard. After a panicked run back inside, Holtz and Erin slammed the door shut as if the rain might follow them in, and panted for breath. Both of them were soaked from head to toe, and the rain outside sounded as if it was becoming a storm.  
…  
When Erin shut the door to her room behind her, she tried to convince herself that she wasn’t afraid of being alone in the house. Holtzmann was just beyond the far wall, she wasn’t even really alone. She kicked off her wet shoes and socks, and padded across to the bathroom, grabbing a towel and beginning to peel off her soaked blouse. There was a sudden clap of thunder that seemed to vibrate through the building, a flash of lightening soon followed and the lights in the room flickered. The storm was close. Erin was trembling. 

She yelped out loud at the sound of a steady knock on her door, and was immediatley embarassed by her reaction. 

‘Erin?’ Came Holtzmann’s voice, and the physicist ran an unsteady hand through her hair and took deep breaths (keep it together Gilbert). Wrapping a towel around her upper body she walked over to let Holtzmann in. 

The other woman was wearing a sports bra and some old sweats, her hair was a little flattened out by the rain. Erin had never seen her like that before, she looked so different. On any other day that would be enough to get her in a fluster, but she was way too shaken to take anything more in. Holtz gave her a half smile and shut the door behind her.  
‘I appreciate a good storm as much as the next girl, but that is just obnoxious.’ She said, not even bothering to make an excuse for her presence as she immediately went to the fireplace and started piling on some of the chopped wood provided. Erin was grateful enough not to question it, and she knew deep down that Holtzmann had figured she wanted company. 

She allowed herself to be calmed by the other woman’s presence. Holtzmann reminded Erin of who she was, and that was somebody who could handle this. A storm in a haunted manor? No issue, they were Ghostbusters. 

‘I just, ah—need to finish changing.’ Erin gestured to the bathroom, and Holtz did not turn back, instead giving her a thumbs up, still trying to get the fire going. She started to cheerily whistle ‘Relight My Fire’, earning a gentle giggle from Erin as she pushed the bathroom door (almost) shut.

Erin pulled on the large MIT sweater over her fresh underwear, it swathed her body just enough that she felt more secure. In fact, Erin noted how her hands had steadied again, her heart rate slowing back to normal. Or nearly normal. There was the small matter of a half-naked Holtzmann in her bedroom. 

When she returned Holtz had got the fire going, and Erin couldn’t bring herself to care about how unusual this scenario was right now. All scenarios seemed to be unusual of late, it was as if Holtz had this way of taking things Erin knew and turning them upside-down. She sat down on the carpet, in front of the fire, beside Holtz and let the comfort warm her.  
…

They’d been talking for what had felt like an age. Mostly nonsense and a little about high school and college. Both women had been outsiders and both were also self-confessed super nerds, although they’d each had their own unique ways of handling it. Erin had been so lucky she found Abby, but she already knew that.

Holtzmann had drifted, mostly on her own. She’d had a few casual friends from science classes, but mostly she had spent her free time working. Making things. It was what she’d been doing for as far back as she could recall. Even as a young child, she had deconstructed toys and tried to figure out new ways to put them back together. There were a few girlfriends in and after college, nothing serious.  
Erin had gathered that Holtzmann was more keen on bringing women home for the night, deconstructing them and seeing what made them tick. She was too curious to focus on one for too long, or perhaps, too well guarded at this stage.

Still, she had learned more about the other woman in a couple hours than she had over the course of their friendship. Not for want of trying, but because something about the intimacy of the present situation seemed to allow it. When she looked at the clock on the wall Erin was surprised by how late it had become. Jet lag must have been getting to her, she was wide awake. Holtzmann would probably want to sleep soon, and the thought of being alone in the large room again couldn’t be put off any longer. What was more interesting was the fact that she wanted Holtzmann to stay. She wanted to fall asleep knowing that she was next to her.

‘You were right, before,’ said Erin, stating the obvious, ‘the painting freaked me out.’ Holtzmann, who was comfortably leaning back on her arms, sat up some more, attention captured.  
‘It looks a little like her. My ghost. I guess I never had to confront her again after she vanished. I never got to catch her… It makes me feel like, like, maybe I’ll wake up one night and she’ll be back standing there again.' She shut here eyes for a moment. 'It’s stupid, I know. I don’t even know how she still has this hold on me.’ 

‘I could get a hold on you, If it would help shake her off?’ Holtz's smile was playful but soft, there was an understanding there too. Erin did not say that it was far too late for such a suggestion.  
‘Could you maybe stay in here. Tonight. If you don't mind?’ She blundered, embarrassed especially as her eyes couldn’t seem to stop scanning over Holtzmann’s smooth exposed skin. Her arms and torso lean from the physical nature of her work. She let down her hair and there was more of it than Erin had realised, curls falling forward across her cheeks and down her neck, it made her yearn to touch them. Beautiful.

Here was Erin, vulnerable in front of Holtz, for the second time in just over a week. The woman who was usually all buttoned up in a blouse, and kitten heels (God, those kitten heels), now sat before Holtzmann swathed in only the fabric of an old sweater. Her hair still a little damp, and the make-up around her eyes smudged up. She was messy, and yet, Holtzmann was mesmerised by Erin, only managing a tiny suprised nod at the suggestion of sharing a room, before the space between them seemed to become consumed. 

The physicist had leaned forward and led her with a hand by the jaw to her lips. They were all softness and yielding, clumsy, Erin’s fingers moving into Holtzmann’s hair, the smell of rain mixed in with her natural scent. Erin had never kissed a woman before, but this was a kiss she had wanted more than any of her others. Worn down by their long day, and a slow burning desire that had been ignored for too long. A need for closeness that could not be sated. She was tired of watching Holtzmann, of picturing getting closer to her, unknowing where they stood. Imagining how it might feel if she was only a little more daring. Erin had jumped into something she was yet to fully understand. It was messy and rushed and imperfect --and it felt exactly like what she needed. Holtzmann, usually the expert in these things, only returned the haphazard ferocity of Erin's kisses, pulling her in firmly by her hips. She kissed unthinkingly for several moments and allowed herself briefly just to have this one.

It was nothing like the way she had imagined herself kissing and eventually seducing Erin. There had been so many moments when she had thought about going for it, knowing that she was good, knowing that she could probably wind up with Erin in her bed for the night, like all the other women before. If only she was simply clever enough in her technique. There had been so much time when it was just within her reach, and Holtzmann had refrained unusually afraid of the fallout and potential rejection. She didn't simply want Erin in her bed, with Erin there was more to it than that.

In that moment, however, the kiss alone was enough. Erin was dazzled by Holtzmann’s lips and tongue and hands on her waist. She caught her breath again only as they broke apart. Holtzmann’s mouth edged into a waggish smile.  
‘Take it slow, Gilbert,’ she breathed, holding the other woman’s hand in her own, making clear that she drew the line at kisses for the evening, much to Erin’s surprise (and disappointment), ‘people might think you like me too much.’ 

They talked more in the four poster bed, not about anything much at all, allowing the fire to die out by itself, limbs comfortably tangled beneath the sheets. Holtzmann drew patterns and designs on Erin's arm with her fingers as she drifted off to sleep. It was only day one of their trip, and like typical scientists they had already found a way to wildly complicate things. She was smart enough to know that the actions of an emotionally fragile Erin might not hold the same sentiment when the morning arrived. That was why she had stopped her at kisses, despite all the things she might want to do with Erin Gilbert. Holtzmann was also foolish enough not to care too much about what would come in the morning, in that moment, she was happy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘I love it when a woman gets all theoretical with me.’ Holtz was already getting up and making her way to their improvised workstation on the dresser. Reaching for her toolkit and portable welder. Erin was close behind her, bringing her things she might need and pacing excitedly as she started to work. If this thing succeeded, it would be yet another incredible invention accredited to Holtzmann. The woman who was currently haphazardly blasting a blowtorch over an antique baroque dresser.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always let me know what you think of this chapter in the comments. You can also find me on tumblr at holtzghostgirl.

Erin blinked slowly as she woke up, there was a bright stream of light escaping between the curtains and it was shining right on her face. It left her disorientated and squinting to see for those first few vague seconds of consciousness, before she remembered where she was. 

She turned on her side and was met with a view that she simultaneously did and did not expect:  
Holtzmann fast asleep, curled in on herself in a way that looked vaguely feline. Her first instinct was to smile at such a sight, and then the facts dawned on her. She, Erin Gilbert, had kissed Holtz last night. Shared a bed with her. 

In her own mind, Erin had deemed such things so unlikely to occur that it was hard to accept them as true. The events of the last night seeming almost dreamlike, lost in the haze of her rash choices. Questions started to swirl in Erin’s thoughts: what did this mean for them? Had she massively screwed things up? 

She remembered the way Holtz had insisted they stop at kisses. Erin knew she had absolutely wanted to do more than kiss Holtzmann. She still did. It left an uncomfortable, giddy, feeling in the pit of her stomach. Those kisses had not been unreciprocated; her lips still slightly tender from the force of them. But what did kisses even mean to a woman like Holtz? She was so physical all the time, and so unlike anyone Erin had met before that it was hard to tell.

What had she meant when she said that people would think Erin liked her ‘too much’? 

It was like she was suddenly back in college, unable to judge anything for herself. Calling Abby up constantly to ask for her opinion: ‘Hey Abby do you think (name) likes me, or is he just talking to me because we’re lab partners?’ Her friend’s comfortingly rational judgement and blunt humour had always been there to clear up such troubles for her. Erin almost considered calling Abby then, and was put off by how a) ridiculous that was (she was a grown woman now) and b) the fact that there was no phone signal. Mostly the latter, and possibly also because she was scared that telling the others was a very bad move. It could ruin the perfect balance of their team, and that was the last thing she wanted.

Erin was so busy worrying that she didn’t even notice that Holtzmann was awake, and had been peacefully observing her for several seconds. She flinched in surprise as her glance downwards was met by that steady analytic gaze.  
‘You’re freaking out, aren’t you?’ Holtz mumbled sleepily, yawning as she spoke, and there was a distinct lack of surprise in her tone that for some reason Erin found mildly provocative. Holtzmann seemed to have it figured out already, and she was in the dark.  
‘No. I’m not freaking out. Why would I be freaking out?’ Erin replied, her voice soft but slightly defensive, ‘I was just… thinking. Are you freaking out?’

Holtzmann’s mouth slid into an amused smirk.  
‘No Erin,’ she said, ‘of course not. I just thought you— ‘  
‘Thought what?’ Erin jumped in, obviously defensive now and maybe just a dash insecure, ‘Thought that I’d have a crisis because I’m so incapable of sponta—‘  
Her sentence was muffled by the sudden arrival of lips on her own. Holtzmann had tried to resist the temptation to jump in and interrupt Erin, but that had proven too difficult. There was something endearing about the way Erin got worked up about things when she entirely didn’t need to.

They stayed for a solid moment and Erin was too distracted to be irritated anymore, melting into the other woman’s touch with a small sigh. Holtzmann’s kisses were an effective (and very pleasant) silencing tool. As they broke apart she scanned Erin’s eyes for a hint of rejection. Meanwhile, Erin looked for an opportunity to keep kissing, she wasn’t done.  
‘I thought you might regret it,’ Holtz said matter-of-factly, as if Erin’s regret wouldn’t make her want to go sit under a table in her lab and never emerge again, ‘that was all.’  
‘Oh.’ Erin breathed broken from her reverie at such a suggestion, her head still reeling from that kiss, ‘No, I don’t.’ It was true, and she had been sure that she would not regret kissing Holtz at the time too. Erin was afraid of regretting the consequences, and that was a different thing entirely. Holtzmann smiled at that, this time it was a wide and easy grin, the kind reserved purely for her greatest triumphs. It made Erin want to stay in bed with her all day. 

Kisses could mean many different things to a woman like Holtz, an artist of sorts. She had perfected the method to hers and it was highly effective, allowing her to decide to leave her partner anywhere between breathless and hungry for more. She could adjust her method to whatever gave the best results in the moment, usually to great success. She liked kissing, and sometimes it didn’t need to mean much at all. Whilst kisses meant a lot to some people, words meant a lot more to Holtzmann personally. She wasn’t nearly as good with them, and Erin’s simple response was all she needed to hear to be pleased. Ecstatic actually (and the kisses were pretty good too).

There was a knock at the door then, and she was forced to think of something other than Erin, who had been consuming almost all of her headspace until then.  
Whatever they had between them was certainly complex, she had never experienced anything like it. Scientists love firsts.  
‘One sec.’ Holtz called casually, before she got out of bed and stumbled into her sweats, still in the same sports bra and underwear from the last evening. Erin watched her, realising just how much she liked that view, to such an extent that she forgot to feel anxious about who was at the door. It was Mr. Talbot with breakfast. He seemed oddly unsurprised to find Holtzmann at Erin’s door, something neither woman gave much thought to. Owning a hotel must have meant he saw all kinds of shenanigans, he was probably just desensitized. 

They ate in comfortable quiet. There was a small table in the room that they had eventually opted for over the bed, mostly because Erin had insisted as much. Holtz was a messy eater and she did not want to wreck the sheets on day two. In response to that, Holtzmann asked her which day she would prefer to wreck them, delivered with an obscene waggle of her eyebrows. Erin was suitably flustered by the remark.

They didn’t confront anything more, and Erin was uncharacteristically ok with it. At one point, Holtzmann had reached out and casually held Erin’s hand as they ate but otherwise it was almost as if nothing had happened. Holtzmann had this effect on her that made her feel more relaxed about certain things, like the job and whatever was happening between them. She liked it.  
…

For a building supposedly plagued by a malevolent spirit, Talbot Manor was incredibly peaceful. They had been sitting in Mercall’s old quarters for three hours, equipment all set up around them and proton packs at the ready. Ghosts didn’t tend to take their time; it wasn’t like they had all that much to do just drifting around after death. This was an unusually long wait.

Holtzmann was sitting with her back against the large oak-frame bed, bouncing a small rubber ball against the wall. Erin was sat in an armchair reading one of the manor’s old record books, hoping for any small snippet of information that could help them out. 

‘Anything good?’ Holtz asked, not too optimistically.  
‘Only if you’re into reading about the groceries a chef needed nearly two hundred years ago,’ Erin muttered, ‘I miss Patty.’  
‘I was thinking I could try and adjust one of the sonic crononmeters, reverse the polar projection and create a kind of magnetic ghost field to lure her out,’ Holtzmann said, underplaying the genius of her idea just a tad, ‘I only just came up with it, no clue if it would work, but worth a shot right?’

Erin thought about it for a moment and then allowed the record book to close in her lap as she turned to look directly at the other woman, there was a flicker of fresh inspiration in her eyes.  
‘Holtz, I think you could be onto something. Abby and I never thought about the possibility of drawing ghosts in from a distance, we assumed their autonomy would prevent it.’ There was clear excitement growing in her voice and Holtzmann revelled in it. ‘But I suppose the spectral plane could respond, well, like a giant magnetic field… it would physically pull her to our area! Why didn’t we ever think of this before?’

‘I love it when a woman gets all theoretical with me.’ Holtz was already getting up and making her way to their improvised workstation on the dresser. Reaching for her toolkit and portable welder. Erin was close behind her, bringing her things she might need and pacing excitedly as she started to work. If this thing succeeded, it would be yet another incredible invention accredited to Holtzmann. The woman who was currently haphazardly blasting a blowtorch over an antique baroque dresser. 

Holtz stopped, for a moment, turning to grin at Erin. Blowtorch still spouting flames into the air, making Erin cringe.  
‘Would you consider having dinner with me tonight?’  
‘You thought now was the best time to ask?’  
‘Well, yes whilst you’re still wooed by my genius.’  
Erin rolled her eyes.  
‘Let’s keep our eyes on that blowtorch,’ she said cajolingly, Holtzmann pouted almost comically and Erin couldn’t stop herself from smirking before she added, ‘dinner tonight would be nice.’  
…  
It was taking Holtzmann longer than they had expected to complete the transformation from sonic crononmeter to ghost lure. She had run into some small technical issues that were harder to fix due to a lack of the proper equipment.

Whilst she tinkered away, Erin decided it was really about time they got in touch with the others. She wandered down to the lobby, only slightly spooked by the potential appearance of their ghost, who had been so absent she might as well have been on vacation or something (could ghosts take vacations?).  
There was no sign of Mr. Talbot at the desk either, and after ringing the bell twice Erin decided to take the liberty of using the landline. He wouldn’t mind anyway, she thought, as she tapped in the international dialling code before their phone number and waited for the dial tone to start. But there wasn’t one, instead the line hummed a low droning sound and then cut out.

Weird.

Maybe Kevin had tried to use the phone as a walkie-talkie again. She tried once more and after a few seconds, mercifully, it was ringing.  
‘Hey Ghostbusters here, how can I help?’ Came the familiar Australian accent, it was a relief to get through.  
‘Kevin! Hey, it’s Erin.’  
‘Erin’s not here right now, can I take a message?’  
‘No Kevin, this is Erin speaking. Can you put Abby or Patty on the phone?’  
‘Oh hi Erin! Long-time no speak, have you seen the London eye yet? Is it like a big elephant’s eye or more robot—‘ there was a muffled sound and then she heard somebody else at the receiver. A distant Kevin grumbled in the background.  
‘Erin!’ Came Abby’s comfortingly familiar voice, ‘God, where have you been?’

Then the line clicked and went dead.  
‘The phone isn’t very good I’m afraid.’ Said Mr. Talbot, his voice seemingly emerging out of nowhere. Erin jumped, she hadn’t even seen him come in. His face was blank and his tone monotonous, and she wasn’t sure if she’d just seen him press the hook himself.

‘I, um, I’m sorry. You weren’t here and we needed to speak with our colleagues.’ She was increasingly disconcerted by the way he was staring, and then his features seemed to turn again. He blinked and looked at Erin with a small smile as if he’d just noticed her presence.  
‘Oh sorry you caught me daydreaming, how can I help? Is everything alright?’  
Erin was starting to think that there was something strange about Mr. Talbot, maybe she was just paranoid, but she shook her head slowly and edged back towards the staircase.  
‘Actually, I think I’m fine, Mr. Talbot. Sorry to bother you.’ She walked, and then began to hurry back to the eastern wing.  
‘Oh, no worries at all. Let me know if you need anything!’ He called behind her.

…

‘He was acting so weirdly, Holtz, and he seemed to just change in an instant.’ Erin said as she finished relaying the recent events, clearly unnerved by her experience.  
‘Uh-huh.’ Holtzmann was distracted, making the finishing touches on the ghost lure, it was looking good and she was determined for it to be successful. She turned back to Erin and chewed at her lip.

‘I think this thing is done Erin. Wanna check it out?’ Erin was about to raise her concerns once again, when Holtz hit a button on the new device and it began emitting a bright blue aura in the dim late-afternoon light of the room. It was magnificent, and Erin simply stared at it for a moment, totally intrigued.

‘So we gotta straightforward sonic chronometer flipped upside-down, polarity reversed, customised control settings and this bit is really cool—step right up, step right up please,’ Holtz ushered an awed Erin forward, ‘I hiked up the projection so that this baby can reach any ghost within a mile radius.’ She pulled a lever and something inside the machine began whirring away.  
‘Holtzmann this is incredible,’ Erin said genuinely very impressed, ‘when will we know if it works?’  
‘In a couple hours maybe, if our lady is out there she should be dragged back to the device. Once it has her in the central field she won’t be able to move beyond this room.’ Holtz had that eager to please sensation coursing through her body, as always she seemed to thrive upon wowing Erin. 

‘Ah, right. So I guess now we wait.’ Said Erin, sidling up to Holtzmann, who in turn began to shuffle about adjusting her machine and generally avoiding eye contact for a moment. She had taken their earlier agreement quite seriously, and it seemed it might have slipped Erin’s mind.  
‘Actually, I had a place in mind, y’know, for dinner.’  
‘Oh,’ said Erin, feeling a different kind of nervous energy rising in her chest, a date with Holtzmann, it hadn’t totally dawned on her that she meant going out properly, ‘of course. I’m sorry.’ Somewhere inside herself she felt a bit unsteady, this was all going so quickly. 

Their relationship was evolving beyond anything she’d ever imagined it could be.

Erin hadn’t been on a real date in two years, and the whole thing just felt so new. Holtzmann was a woman. Which didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, because Erin didn’t think her sexuality was limited by small factors like gender. Holtz was just the first woman she had ever been involved with romantically, and that was another new thing to add to a growing list of overwhelmingly new things.

But she couldn’t stand the nervous way that Holtz was refusing to meet her eyes. Nor did she want to screw up what was already starting to seem like a good thing. Erin swallowed her desire to be safe, and smiled.  
‘Just so you know I’m not the kind of girl who kisses on the first date.’ She said, a pink hue blooming in her cheeks that was covered by the blue glow of the machine. Holtz didn’t need to look to know it was there, she laughed gently.  
‘I’m not a girl you’ve ever dated before, Erin.’ She replied smoothly, and Erin couldn’t argue with that.


End file.
